An Eternal Diagnosis

A lot of people are afraid of hospitals. Terrified, actually. The thought of them gives people the creeps and makes them unfathomably uncomfortable. Either that or they have many negative connotations that come with hospitals like sickness, death, infection, depression, etc. Now, while all those things can be found in a hospital it doesn’t necessarily depict a perfect image of what a hospital actually is. Not to me anyways.
 
I think I used to be one of those people. One of those people who associated the word, ‘hospital’ with the reaction of, “oh no…” and “I don’t want to be there.” But over the past few weeks I have gained a different perspective. Instead of the words, sickness, death, depression, I find that I now associate a hospital with words like thankfulness, appreciative, miraculous, beautiful.
 
Recently, a lot of my time has been spent in the hospital. Many waiting rooms, private rooms, African clinics, and a fair amount of long and tiresome public transportation to get there. Lately, it seems as though, plain and simple that my team has just been completely falling apart. It hurts me to even write this because of how much I truly love and care about the people on my team. Just as anyone in a family cares about each other. I have spent many sleepless nights sitting in a hospital room, wiping down the body of my team leader NayNay with a cold wet towel to break her 105 degree fever and trying to give her the medication she needs to make the malaria dissipate as fast as possible. I have bathed multiple teammates because they are too weak to do it themselves. I have watched Kory help replace an IV needle in my teammate Sarah’s hand because of the multiple IV drips she has needed due to a troublesome bladder and kidney infection. I have even been peed on…. I wont mention names on that one. But to say the least it’s been an interesting couple of weeks.
 
And with all of this information, I’m sure it doesn’t convince many of you of our current safety or situation. But before I continue, let me reassure you that all that are sick or hurting are being taken care of not only by my team and squad members, but also by the best medicine we are able to find here in Malawi. God is taking care of us.
 
Although all of what has been said so far seems negative, and yes it has definitely been trying and stressful, to me I am seeing the positives of all of this so much more prevalently. The fact that it was at this time that all of this sickness began to rise up doesn’t seem like just simple coincidence or random occurrence. I believe that our team needed a radical wake up call. A call to make our words match our actions.
 
We’ve been calling ourselves a family for a long time, pretty much since our team was established in the Philippines. And I personally, have always truly felt that way, but I think now, when we’ve all needed each other the most, it has really shown through. I have seen so many tears shed in compassion and agony for one another. I’ve seen how we quickly go to comfort each other in any way we can. I see the genuine love and attention that we freely give to one another without expecting anything in return. I’ve seen how much we hurt when one another is in pain. I’ve heard my teammates call each other brother and sister. All of this has brought our team closer to each other and more extremely dependent on the Lord for literally everything and anything.
 
 
“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by the means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on firm foundation.” 1 Peter 5:10
 
 
I think sometimes it’s easy as humans to overthink and overanalyze everything. I know I am guilty of it all the time. Especially when we’re sick, we can become a hypochondriac. Thinking way too much into something, particularly when we’ve been diagnosed with something like Malaria, a bladder and kidney infection, a parasite in our stomachs, we can let these things define us and label us with a huge label on our forehead screaming, “DIAGNOSED!” and not let anyone in.
 
 
But if we can come before the Lord in our weakness, our pain, our suffering and proclaim that we are nothing without full dependence on Lord and the control He ultimately has then the Lord is pleased, and surely goodness will follow those who do so. *Psalm 23*
 
 
If I was forced to choose the label that reads across my forehead for all to see, I would want people to see a powerful and bold statement, a diagnosis maybe for I am a sick sinner, but one that reads “Eternally DIAGNOSED!” For I am called to live a life filled by the presence of my Father who calls me into his kingdom and says, “Well done good and faithful servant, the pain is gone, your old life is done and the new one has now begun.”
 
 
****I do ask of all you that do continue to support me through prayers and reading these blogs that you please lift up many prayers for my team right now. Close to half of my team is sick and still in the process of recovering. Please pray for their quick and God-willing immediate recovery to become healthy and fully healed in Jesus name. Also please pray for NayNay, Sarah, and Lexi’s families, as they need comfort during this time.  And lastly, just pray an immense amount of strength for my entire team that we would rise up out all of this stronger and more united than before.

A picture of what public transportation looks like in Malawi…an overcrowded van piled with 15+ people stuffed inside.

Dried fish on a stick…that was sold off the street. It cost about 400 kwacha (equivalent to about $1.25USD)

African hospitals.